Because theres no money in that problem. Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesnt mean the circus has left town. George Carlin, 23. After all, he was one of the most successful comedians of all time! And apparently Im not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions.George Carlin, Im completely in favor of theseparation of Church and State. These two institutions screw us up enoughon their own, so both of them together iscertain death.George Carlin, I dont have pet peeves I have major psychotic fucking hatreds.George Carlin, I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Wheres the self-help section? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.George Carlin, If your kid needs a role model and you aint it, youre both fucked. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Its important in life if you dont give a shit. We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. Couldnt you just skip the praying part and go right to His Will? By the way, it's the same big club they use to beat you over the head with all day long when they tell you what to believe. They want obedient workers, people who are just smart enough to run the machines and do the paperwork. That's the problem. for(var i=0; iGeorge Carlin Quotes on Politics - LiveAbout //The 531+ Vicious Quotes Page 5 - QUOTLR Famous and remained in the controversies for his dark comedy and the reflections on politics, religions, and social taboo, Carlin is considered one of the most influential comedians of all time. And fight songs. Some people see things that are and ask, Why? George Carlin Quotes on Religion, Politics, Government & Life - Goalcast Theyre all in favour of the unborn. I'm the Founder of SucceedFeed.com and I truly appreciate you taking the time to read my posts and being apart of the Succeed Feed community. its only a symbol. We all need to let loose and laugh at things once in a while and making other people laugh as well as think and find meaning behind your jokes is an exceptional talent George Carlin has. But there is an I in independence, individuality and integrity.George Carlin, Some people see the glass half full. If your kid needs a role model and you aint it, youre both fucked. George Carlin, 32. Were so self-important. [CDATA[ Improve yourself, find your inspiration, share with friends, George Carlin (2002). Whether you agree with him or not, George Carlins views on government are definitely worth considering. And the supreme arrogance? Well, its Gods will. Thy Will Be Done. Fine, but if its Gods will, and Hes going to do what He wants to anyway, why the fuck bother praying in the first place? The planet is fine. About Us | Privacy Policy | Terms | Contact Us, Ronald Reagan Religious Quotes To Live Your Life As A True Believer, www.brainyquote.com/authors/george-carlin-quotes, www.quotes.thefamouspeople.com/george-carlin-1484.php, www.everydaypower.com/george-carlin-quotes. The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. It will not be with jack-boots. I think the life cycle is all backwards. Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky. I mean, life is tough. Hope these quotes will give you a different perspective on government and how it works. George Denis Patrick Carlin was born May 12, 1937, in the Bronx, New York. If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. Vicious quotes and captions plus a big list of quotations about vicious, xenophobia, and brutal quotes by George Carlin and Francois de la Rochefoucauld. If youre born in America you get a front row seat.George Carlin, Dont sweat the petty things and dont pet the sweaty things.George Carlin, If its true that our species is alone in the universe, then Id have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.George Carlin,Napalm & Silly Putty. My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me. Goalcast inspires the world through stories. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure.George Carlin, Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink,I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuckGeorge Carlin, I tried to believe that there is a God, who created each of us in His own image and likeness, loves us very much, and keeps a close eye on things. Laugh until you gasp for breath." - George Carlin 3. node.parentNode.insertBefore(gads, node); When youre born in America, you get a front row seat. George Carlin, 48. They've long since bought, and paid for the Senate, the Congress, the state houses, the city halls, they got the judges in their back pockets and they own all the big media companies, so they control just about all of the news and information you get to hear. //George Carlin > Quotes > Quotable Quote - Goodreads.com The next time they give you all that civic bullshit about voting, keep in mind that Hitler was elected in a full, free democratic election. George Carlin, 66. Apparently, were not ready for that! George Carlin, 72. Its never going to get any better. Its totally FREE. Thats the only thing keeping it and expanding it wherever possible. George Carlin, 57. url = "https://s.gr-assets.com/assets/mobile/phone_hd_images-2b89833762f600506d44865a33582d11.css"; George Carlin "The planet is fine. Then you live in an old age home. Before, all you had to go by were these 14 quotes. A.src = t; The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity. This is the best we can do folks. George Carlin > Quotes > Quotable Quote (?) Who watches everything you do every minute of every day. Theres only the immediate future and the recent past. var ue_id = "RW7VD4AVX1H9239WWVVN"; And a list of people they're going to visit at 3am. I love individuals. Disclaimer: As an Amazon Associate We earn from qualifying purchases. Its so fuckin heroic.George Carlin, The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.George Carlin, If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?George Carlin, I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? And, let me tell you, theres nothin like it. Quote by George Carlin: "Forget the politicians. The politicians are And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.George Carlin,When Will Jesus Bring The Pork Chops? The Grammy-Award-winning star of 14stand-up comedy specials on HBO taught us the power of words and how a person can use humor as a weapon. In America, anyone can become president. stylesheet.type = "text/css"; When youre born you get a ticket to the freak show. Weve learned how to make a living but not a life. Religion class was always an easy class. pubID: '3211', adServer: 'googletag', bidTimeout: 4e3, params: { aps_privacy: '1YN' } I hate a group of people with a common purpose. Carlin certainly aimed to provoke, but its the why and how of it that made him so exceptional. They'll get it all from you sooner or later 'cause they own this f**kin' place. He was also known for his outspoken views on government and politics. Pointing out the things which are influencing our society badly with humor is not an easy task to do. googletag.pubads().setTargeting("signedin", "false"); This made him outstanding. All you had to do was suspend the logic and reasoning you were being taught in all the other classes. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Laugh often, long and loud. The upper class: keeps all of the money, pays none of the taxes. 50 The Alchemist Quotes To Make You Follow Your Dreams, 195 Best Cobra Kai Quotes (Seasons 1 5), 70 Attack On Titan Quotes That Will Inspire Greatness, 37 The Lion King Quotes Filled With Powerful Life Lessons, Your email address will not be published. " George Carlin Quotes "War will end when people stop showing up for it. I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. His insights on the world of politics were always keen and often quite funny. Its a great feeling. Goalcast is an inspiring community for achievers dedicated to helping you improve all aspects of your life. Every day I beat my own previous record for the number of consecutive days Ive stayed alive. Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. Tell people an invisible man in the sky created all things, they believe you. "Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. You have no choice. His jokes were certainly aimed to provoke others but the hows and whys of it made him so exceptional. Ever. Weve learned how to make a living but not a life. You have owners. return null; George Carlin George Denis Patrick Carlin (May 12, 1937 - June 22, 2008) was an American comedian, social critic, actor, and author Carlin was noted for his black comedy and his thoughts on politics, the English. And far from staying to the safer path, he leapt time and again past the cliff of common wisdom, in the hopes of rattling us into questioning the way we live. Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breaths away. George Carlin Shitting on Government for 8 Minutes Straight "Everyone smiles in the same language." ~ (George Carlin). My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town. Resources. a[a9] = { I have certain rules I live by. It's a Big Club, and You Ain't in it - American Thinker We would love to hear your thoughts, so dont be shy and comment below! ", Follow AzQuotes on Facebook, Twitter and Google+. Carlin, who was known for spewing critical rhetoric against the government, organized religion and big business, first delivered the quote during his 2005 HBO comedy special, Life Is Worth. Electricity is really just organized lightning. Quote by George Carlin - SComedy The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions. George Carlin, 87. I think that speaks for itself. It is one that we need to function as a society. Source; . You caused the problem; you voted them in; you have no right to complain, All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another, "It's harder to be funny from the position of power. The planet is fine. TOP 25 QUOTES BY GEORGE CARLIN (of 976) | A-Z Quotes if (window.Mobvious === undefined) { George Carlin was one of the most iconic comedians of all time and he had a lot to say about government. They own everything. The game is rigged and nobody seems to notice. }); googletag.cmd.push(function() { American document.getElementsByTagName("head")[0].appendChild(stylesheet); v. Pacifica Foundation, in which a 54 decision affirmed the government's power to regulate indecent material on the public airwaves (wikipedia). Keep in mind, the news media are not independent; they are a sort of bulletin board and public relations firm for the ruling class-the people who run things. Some people dream of things that never were, and ask, why not? Being considered as one of the top comedians of all time,George is well known for his black humor, political views, observations on language, psychology, and religion along with many other taboo subjects. Period. My first rule, I dont believe anything the government tells me And I dont take very seriously the media or the press in this country. George Carlin, 82. Have you ever noticed that the only metaphor we have in our public discourse for solving problems is to declare war on it? In fact, George Carlin had some pretty interesting things to say about government. var url; Every person you look at; you can see the universe in their eyes, if youre really looking.George Carlin, Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die,your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. Theyve long since bought, and paid for the Senate, the Congress, the State houses, the city halls, they got the judges in their back pockets and they own all the big media companies, so they control just about all of the news and information you get to hear. George Carlin, 63. The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. So, we must be clear about our expectations for government and its role in our lives. Don't forget: YOU have the power to make ANYTHING happen. var ue_sid = "334-5362882-2183381"; This video is an ideal way to start your day off on a funny and thought provoking note and stay inspired through. return false; - George Carlin profile quotes. Best George Carlin quotes on life, religion and politics Government is an important institution. A Death! Dont sweat the petty things and dont pet the sweaty things. Some people see the glass half full, others see it half empty. Tom, Id like you to meet the girl of my dreams, Tragedy. These days, Trajedi. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, It turned out I was pretty good in science. The less said about it the better. George Carlin, 38. That is against their interests. It will be Nike sneakers and Smiley shirts. Laugh until you gasp for breath. George Carlin, 3. var ue_sn = "www.goodreads.com"; What exactly is viewer discretion? If the parent corporation doesnt want you to know something, it wont be on the news. The people are fucked! George Carlin, 80. }); Injuring, hurting, killing, drinking are all part of it because youve lost your identity because you now owe your allegiance to this thing thats bigger than you are and that controls you. George Carlin, 71. I just dont have as many people who believe it.George Carlin, How come when its us, its an abortion, and when its a chicken, its an omelet?George Carlin. A = p.createElement(s); If viewers had discretion, most television shows would not be on the air. George Carlin, 54. George Carlin Quotes - BrainyQuote. God has a three-day weekend.George Carlin, Theres a humorous side to every situation. The people are fucked. George Carlin, May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. George Carlin, Some people have no idea what theyre doing, and a lot of them are really good at it. George Carlin, Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. George Carlin, We have multiplied our possessions but reduced our values. We havent tried that for a while. My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me. _Q: [] George Carlin. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. It can help you a lot. George Carlin, 8. Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? googletag.pubads().collapseEmptyDivs(true); George Carlin > Quotes (?) As for the poor, they tell us theyve lost all incentive because weve given them too much money. If holy people are so interested in politics, government, and public policy, let them pay the price of admission like everybody else.

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